You really coming over, don't trick.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
