I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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