Will you blow on my dice?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
