Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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