the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
