One girl and one boy is just not enough.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
