He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
