im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize