we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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