So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
