You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's never too late to be topless.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize