Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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