FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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