That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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