i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
