Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
it's great music for shaving your balls
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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