Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
