i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Mom said you looked used
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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