i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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