so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
