soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
