I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
