their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
did i walk over a car last night?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
