if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
