Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
