I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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