you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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