Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
