there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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