how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
