dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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