so let's talk penis.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
