How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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