How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
