awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
