Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize