you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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