Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
