On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We're too hungover to prance.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
