He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
