sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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