someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
