Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
