i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Couch. On fire.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
