I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
