office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
