i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i dont even know how to be here
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
