So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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