i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
