I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
