Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Randomize
