i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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