I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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