Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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