By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize