Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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