actually, I'm a sock model
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
They took my balls.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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