bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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