hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
