btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize