I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
