i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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