y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
