Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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