shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
