As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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